JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
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