Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the day after is always just damage control
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
