Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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