piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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