Cold hands, warm shart.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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