people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
