i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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