office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
