Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
