whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
