covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
