Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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