So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
