Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
