He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
