have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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