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• (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?

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• (619): View more from California

  FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"

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• (218): View more from Minnesota

  In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!

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