I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
