Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
