he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
