At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
