I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
