well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
