Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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