Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So squirting runs in the family.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
