I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize