i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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