That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
