I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
