I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize