So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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