C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
well you can't waste a boner
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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