It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize