me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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