Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
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