when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
