Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
