I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
