Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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