After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
