shes about as inviting as chlamydia
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had to cum in my sink.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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