So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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