I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
