Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Mom said you looked used
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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