I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
