Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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