At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There r osticjed everywhere
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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