Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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