VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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