If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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