Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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