if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
