you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
