Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
