Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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