Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
