His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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