you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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