look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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