she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
