Im at strip club and am horny
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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